Jasmine Hart

This is a powerful and effective piece. The beginning is very good, as it flows well. It sounds like you're ticking the different things off on your fingers, and the ...

Hi Jessi. Welcome to YWS. This is a nice straight-forward poem. The rhythm is, for the most part, good, but I'd try reading it aloud just so you can get ...

I surrendered to the shafts of Sleep which bright Pain could not penetrate; blissful numbing of the mind. Curtains rose before the screen of all that I could not have ...

Lit-chick; I hope you don't mind my commenting, but in your last post you said; ""Karina. I am so proud of you. I thought you wouldn't be strong enough, but ...

Hi Jamie. Welcome to YWS. What sort of fiction do you like to write? Jas

I seem to have frozen...the question is, do I make myself write, or just sit back and hope the muses come back?

I know this sounds harsh, so please don't be offended, but what I think is that you need to write it before it can be commented on. I get what ...

Tempest Tempest shook her head. "This is crazy." she muttered. She wasn't sure whether Rydia heard or not. Raising her voice to a more audible volume, she asked "How long ...

I quite liked this, Kit. I liked the little portraits you made of your dad. As usual, I hope you'll excuse my playing with this; (I've played with line endings-what ...

I'd advise getting rid of the bold font as you don't really need it and it's a bit hard on the eyes. This is a really lovely poem. It flows ...

My first suggestion would be to change the title. Love is a common theme in writing, and especially in poetry, so you need to bring something new to it. Maybe ...

This is very good. It's moving without being cringey. It flows well for the most part and I like how you portray the different individuals. I really love the last ...

I love your imagery, but I think this jumps around just a little too much. I'd like to see a bit more development. I hope you don't mind me playing ...

I see what you've tried to do and you've managed your aim really well, but I think it could be expressed a little better. I love your description here. It's ...

Garbage Nirvana Evanessence Paramore Alanis Morisette Bowling For Soup Bon Jovi Nickleback Lisa Loeb No Doubt There are more, but I could be here a while if I fill them ...